Monday, after taking my first few steps, I realized my legs were toast; last week’s easy running had morphed into this week’s mental struggle. This week would be all about running through tired.
Monday morning started with 6-miler. The first few miles were a struggle but once I passed though mile 3, the tiredness seemed to go away. My pace is slowly increasing though I continue to log back of the packs times. Tuesday, a rest day, was spent lunching with my dad and visiting my mother. Then Wednesday came along and the anticipated rain did not materialize. My rainy day pass had been invalidated so I scratched out a 3 mile run and it turned out quite good, even on tired legs…my fastest 3 miles of the year.
But oh this morning, I had a long run on tap and I dreaded getting out of bed! Being tired does funny things to the mind and spirit. Nevertheless, I was up before light, grabbed a coffee, delivered one of our cars to the shop and got John to work with lots of time to run before 12:30 PM, when I planned to pick up my dad.
Today’s goal was to move myself into double digit mileage with a 10-mile effort. Unfortunately, a couple of unwelcome run along companions were in tow… “self doubt” and the very vocal, “it’s okay to quit…really.” I had to kick myself out the front door. Thanks to self doubt, I had tied a light jacket around my waist and pulled on a pair of gloves, just in case I couldn’t make the distance and had to walk home.
The first few miles went quite well as I ran through the neighborhood, along the river and over the Gay Street Bridge. This territory is quite familiar to me now. I know the beautiful homes in our neighborhood, the dips in the road, the unfilled potholes, the rough sections of sidewalk, the protected areas where homeless sometimes stop and leave a liquor bottle. I see the struggling gathered outside the AA meeting room, the laundromat, the thrift store and the school yard often full of laughing kids. I watch the river as I cross the bridge, with each run it takes on a different personality and I look ahead, anxious to catch a glimpse of downtown with it’s hustle, bustle. This is my running turf and I love it!
But stop the waxing poetic, somewhere around mile 4 things began to deteriorate and “it’s okay to quit…really” spoke up. Suddenly I was confronted with the following thoughts:
“It’s okay to quit, really…the legs are tired, you had a good running week last week.”
“It’s okay to quit, really…wouldn’t it be nice to walk, it wouldn’t hurt so much?”
“It’s okay to quit, really…you have to pick your dad up in a couple of hours, you will never have time to get ready and drive across town, just turn around now.” (of course I had plenty of time)
“It’s okay to quit, really…you can run 10 miles tomorrow, or maybe Saturday. You’ll do it… really.”
Somewhere along Neyland Drive, in an attempt to drive the negative thoughts from my mind, I found myself yelling. I quickly looked behind and was happy to discover that no one was near to witness the crazy lady yelling out loud. But the yelling worked and “it’s okay to quit…really” dropped out of the run. I was left struggling with self doubt for a few more miles (until mile 7) when I realized that I was going to make it, I would run, not walk home.
Our friend Will Skelton, recently told me that if you can run 10 miles, you can run a 1/2 marathon. Not me, not on this day. I ran the 10 miles with nothing left to give, no 11 miles, not even 10.5. Next week is going to be low mileage then I will be back at it the following week, trying to increase the longer runs. Between now and next week, I still have to get 9-miles out of my legs!
A couple of posts ago, I uploaded a picture of a sunrise from our driveway. Below is a picture of tonight’s sunset from our front yard. Sunsets have been spectacular recently! Notice the crescent moon amongst the branches.
